Am so tired of building up my intricate sandcastles only to have them kicked down by the waves of passers-by in my life. If there is one thing grief, loss and tragedy have taught me is that it is time to stop building sandcastles.
Survivors start over, and learn to build small but solid structures. These may perhaps not protect them from the storms that will continue to pass through life, but at least they are shelters, refuge for the soul and a place to feel safe.
I have lost all faith and trust in sandcastles, because the beautiful ones I built were brazenly kicked away by a bully called Life, or washed over by a wave called Emptiness. Yes, I still relish the feel of sand between my toes, and love that moment when my feet sink into the wet sand while the water runs back into the ocean. It is a romance with the senses that will never cease, a keen awareness of the elements, the little details that enrich my life. One day at a time. Savour one moment to the fullest, and not try to jam pack as many events into one day or even one trip.
No more sandcastles that break my heart or cheat my soul into believing that something magical is waiting for me behind the next cloud. Instead, I am learning to sit in the rain and dialogue with the clouds. Small steps back into the light.